An Intervention for Addiction | The Spouse’s Role

The spouse almost never makes the call As a matter of fact, they're pretty much the reason why interventions don't happen

Because the fear of doing something is greater than the fear of doing nothing The spouse is almost always the reason why interventions don't happen With the spouse, it goes pretty deep psychologically, and a lot of times when we talk to families about this, they don't even recognize it at the time of the consultation They actually have to process it with a therapist or think about it later But the alcoholic almost becomes their purpose

They almost become a caretaker to the alcoholic And if we do an intervention, the alcoholic goes off to rehab, what does it say about them, where does it leave them? What do we do, what happens to their purpose? And they become martyrs You know, if you look it up, most spouses are textbook martyrs, and they're co-dependents And they're terrified to do something because they don't know what's gonna happen next What's gonna happen with the finances, sometime, what's gonna happen with the house, what's gonna happen with the kids

And many times when we're trying to set up the intervention and get everybody together, the spouse will actually sabotage our efforts and tell the alcoholic what we're doing The motivation for the spouse to either sabotage the intervention or not do it is, again, they are comfortable in their abnormal environment, but also because they wanna be the ones who fix it It's so common that when you're setting up an intervention for an alcoholic, to find out that the spouse came from an alcoholic household, has an alcoholic brother, has somebody who died who's an alcoholic, the father was an alcoholic, the mother was an alcoholic And now they're married to one And it becomes their purpose

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