Can a Gaslighter Change?
Many people that will gaslight have antisocial personality disorders such as borderline personality disorder. They have a great deal of anxiety, they often do what they do to feel a sense of control in their lives. They tend to also abuse substances to numb the negative feelings they have. They will often have a personality that is authoritive so they think in absolutes. Things are either 100% right or 100% wrong. Gaslighters are hard to get into treatment because they don’t see themselves as having a problem.
Gaslighting in relationships may result in couple’s therapy. Even when the narcissist is going through counseling, they will often blame their partner. If a therapist suggests the gaslighter try to make some changes, they will often believe them to be incompetent. Even in therapy, they will have a hard time acknowledging they have a behavioral issue that’s causing the problems.
Ultimately, when you’re in company with a gaslighter, they are trying to make you second guess your choices and yourself. You will have a hard time knowing if you’re the problem or the victim. Subconsciously, you know when you’re being gaslighted. Your brain warns you of a sense of danger which becomes an uncomfortable feeling in your gut. Listen to it. If you believe you’re being abused by a gaslighter, pay attention to all the details. It may be that they will never get the help they need so in the end, you may have to walk away and recover from the mental abuse.