“It’s amazing how many people still don’t understand codependency, even when it is consuming them and those they love. The need to fix others is always easier than accepting we are codependent and need help.”
~Jeanette E. Menter, Christian Lay Counselor and author of You’re Not Crazy—You’re Codependent: What Everyone Affected by Addiction, Abuse, Trauma, or Toxic Shame Needs to Know
In relationships that are healthy, both partners comfortably and confidently rely on each other for help, understanding, and support. The relationship brings something positive to both people’s lives.
Interdependency is a GOOD thing. After all, everyone occasionally needs help from someone else.
However, when you are close to someone with a Substance Use Disorder—alcoholism, illegal drug use, or the abuse of prescription medications—it is far too easy to become trapped within a dysfunctional and desperate downward spiral.
Of course you want to take care of and protect your addicted loved one – it’s only natural. However, when your efforts to “help” the substance abuser result in the neglect of your other important obligations – your family, bills, job, or health – then it indicates a problem. When you are so responsible for that person that you lose yourself, you have developed a codependency.