SHOPPING ADDICTION? | Amazon Prime Day – Kati Morton, Therapist

Hey everybody Today, we're going to talk about shopping addiction or compulsive spending

What is it and how can we get help for it? Now I want to start out by defining what shopping addiction or compulsive spending is And I'm going to read from my notes, The APA, meaning The American Psychological Association Defines shopping addiction as an impulse control disorder that is described as, a compulsion to spend money without need or financial means A pattern of chronic and repetitive purchasing I think that's kind of important to understand because it's a compulsion

We've talked about in our ocd video, I'll link in the description if you want to know what ocd is or how I describe a compulsion But it's that urge, or that impulse to do something And so it's interesting to understand that they describe it as a compulsion to spend money, Without need or financial means Meaning you don't have any necessity for the item and nor do you have the ability to actually pay for it It's interesting after reading a bunch of literature and blogs even, About people who struggle this and overcome it The most interesting I found is that they say it has similar features to other addiction based disorders, But without an intoxicating drug

Meaning that all the similar behaviors and things that go along with addiction, Meaning secrecy, It could be lashing out at loved ones, It could be stealing, It could be finding other ways to get that addiction filled All of those symptoms and signs are very very similar If you're out there and you're watching this video, And you think that maybe you yourself struggle with shopping addiction or compulsive spending, Today I'm going to offer up seven signs And by no means is a full comprehensive number of signs These are just the most common with the research that I did, That I repeatedly saw listed

So see if any of these, They say three or more, But let's see if any of these are things that you struggle with The first is shopping as a result of feeling upset, angry or disappointed It's like a coping skill I've talked about this a lot with regard to other mental illnesses, That we might use an eating disorder or self-injury as a way to cope, Or addiction right if we are going to drink if we struggle with alcohol abuse or alcohol dependence, We may seek out alcohol more under stressful or upsetting times The second sign is not being able to go out without credit cards

There was a lot of talk about feeling naked without them, And frightened to leave the house without, Because what if I found something that I just had to purchase And that would give people such intense anxiety It's almost, I would assume like someone needing to get alcohol, And not being able to or not knowing when they could get their fix next It could cause some inner anxiety and tension The third sign is, Buying items that you can't afford

Like we talked about the description that the APA gives for shopping addiction, Is buying things you have no need or means to pay for And so if you're buying things you actually can't afford, That's one of the signs And the fourth sign is feeling guilt or lying about the money spent And this is why it can be so detrimental to relationships, Because for lying to the ones that we love and hiding something that could potentially be really damaging, Debt can be really difficult and hard for families to overcome If we're not telling about that, If they stumble upon it or realize it or get something in the mail a bill this can be really really difficult

And that's why there's a lot of guilt and shame associated with it I've even had a friend of mine who struggled with shopping addiction, Who hid thousands and thousands of dollars worth of clothes from her husband in their basement, And then he would stumble, She'd slowly try to integrate them into her wardrobe without him noticing Only for him to come upon one of her credit-card bills, and then that was just a huge ordeal to overcome The fifth sign I want to talk about is, Spending a lot of time moving money around, And managing your money as a way to pay the minimum payments that are due Often people who struggle with shopping addiction will have many credit cards, They'll have a credit card at Macy's, at Sephora, at Victoria's Secret, Anybody who allow you to open up a credit card at that particular company, Not to mention just mastercards, American Express, regular credit cards, They will have a bunch of them open

So a lot of their time is spent moving money from one bucket to the next, In order to be able to cover all of those minimum payments And the sixth sign, And it kind of roll off of number four is, Fighting with others about your spending habits Often spouses or roommates or people in our lives, Mothers, sisters, brothers, people who care about us, May have an issue with our spending habits And we may have asked them for money and not be able to repay them And so there's a lot of fighting and just tension in our relationships due to our spending habits, And a final sign that I want to talk about is, Losing control of your spending behavior

And I know that this is kind of all-encompassing, But I really want to touch on this because, Online shopping makes things available to us 24/7 We can save our credit cards in sites to make it even easier So there's one less step we have to go through in order to hit purchase And so because of the ease and having things that are fingertips, And I even personally get bombarded every morning, With a ton of emails about a sale here you get an extra 20% off there I can't imagine if I was trying to stop spending, How hard that would be how triggering those emails and the ease with which we could purchase these days, Like how hard that would be for me

And that's why I think it's so important for us to get help sooner rather than later Because shopping is so easy It's right at our fingertips And the debt accumulation can just grow and grow and grow, And cause us more and more unnecessary stress I'm going to offer up five ways to get help if you struggle with shopping addiction

And as always if you have any other tips and tricks, Please let us know in the comments Let's help one another work towards a debt-free happier, healthier life The first tip for getting help is to track your spending for a month Notice what you're spending on How much

Often, when we struggle with shopping addiction We just numb out We don't pay any attention to how much we're actually spending And so it's important for us to track it for a full month to see exactly where our money is going What cost do we have that we can't get out of? And which ones can we maybe live without? And the second tip is, When you see something that you want to purchase, That thing that it sounds so good, And you find yourself getting that excitement that comes with shopping addiction

I want you to do yourself a favor and wait 30 minutes You how I have talked in other videos about creating space before we do something, Maybe it's self injury or acting out in any kind of eating disorder behavior or anything like that, I always say creating that space Those few minutes to give our brain time to kind of come out of that clouded high, Or impulsive thought And instead be able to respond accordingly And act in ways that maybe are healthier and happier for us And the third tip just like we talk about with self-injury and eating disorder behaviors, Distract yourself Keep yourself busy

Have things that you do Go for walks, Maybe it's a fidget spinner, Maybe it's watching a show, Whatever you can do to keep your mind off of that thought of wanting to shop Maybe it's giving someone your phone so it's not next to you So you don't have as much access to it Whatever it is, use your distraction tools

You know leave some in the comments if you can think of some Use those so that we can not only create that 30 minutes of space, But then we can hopefully help ourselves forget about the item altogether My fourth tip, Seek therapy Shopping addiction, just like any other addiction, Is often a coping skill for something larger Sitting down with someone, talking about it and figuring out what that bigger thing is, By working through that, may remove the need to shop at all

I find when we figure out what the root of the root of our issue is, That urge to do the unhealthy behavior whether it's shopping, drugs and alcohol, self-injury, eating disorders, Whatever it is It goes away because that reason doesn't exist anymore And the fifth and final tip, And it's kind of one of the most obvious, And that's why I saved it for the end Is to pay off your highest interest rate debt first And to work with a debt relief company There are a ton of debt relief companies out there, And I want you to read a lot of reviews and be very careful

There are a ton of sites that review all of the debt relief Make sure that you never work with a company that asks you to take out more debt from them Or consolidating at a higher rate Be very cautious But know they can really help

Know that there is help available And if you're struggling Like anything I talk about the sooner we reach out the better I know there's a lot of shame and a lot of guilt and embarrassment that comes along with shopping addiction But know that you're not alone, there are other resources available

There are therapists you can work with to help you There are Shopaholics anonymous meetings, Just like AA I will link in the description their sites You can find one nearest to you So just know that the sooner we get to help, The sooner we start talking about it, The better we will feel

So please check out the resources that I link in the description And let us know in the comments what has helped you Because as always, we're a community working together And if you're new to my channel click here to subscribe I put out videos twice a week, and you don't want to miss them, And I will see you next time

Bye! Subtitles by the Amaraorg community

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